It often doesn't occur to us to consider something other than what we are used to. Then, when we are questioned it is hard to consider that we have simply been mislead through the the natural occurrence of cultural conditioning!
For example and example only, it is unfortunate that people are so uncomfortable considering the possibility that something so routinely done to such a private part of a baby, simply for cosmetic reasons, against their choice might not be a good idea despite the fact that it has become common. We are creatures of habit, we go with the grain, etc.
It is tough. It is like a switch gets flipped when you suddenly realize that just because something is *normal* or *common* doesn't mean it is right. Obviously, we know that is the truth, but to apply it and really question is another thing. I went from "Why wouldn't we circumcise?" to "Wow... I cannot believe I thought this was normal and okay."
Really, I am not trying to even discuss circumcision again. What I really want to talk about is why it is so hard to break out of our cultural conditioning, our lack of conscious intent.
Any bites?
If everybody is doing something we assume there is nothing wrong with it because everyone is doing it. In the case of circumcision Americans have only recently discovered that no other advanced country does it and this has made people question it and research it. Then like you said we come to the conclusion of - oh my God how did we ever tolerate this? But it took knowing that other advanced people didn't do it for us to question it in the first place. Better late than never. The sooner this horrible practice dies out the better for humanity. Seriously. Taking away half the pleasure for some backward notion of aesthetics? Not for my son. He will get to keep ALL his parts even if it is too late for me!
ReplyDeleteIt's far harder when it hits close to home.
ReplyDeleteI assume this is in reaction to the thread I began on that web site's board about circumcision (and forgive me for blog stalking, it's interesting!). I immediately got into defense mode when the implication arose that circumcised men are somehow deficient. I want to shield my husband from that argument, and I still do believe that it is quite possible to have a fulfilling sex life without a foreskin.
However, I've come around to the idea that circumcision is simply unnecessary, and I'm definitely leaning toward just leaving it alone. I don't imagine my husband is going to press it.
I'm sure you can sympathize that when something not only contradicts an assumption we have but also implies (quite brutally, in the case of a certain line or response I received) that the lack of a foreskin creates a monumental hole in a man's life that must be constantly mourned, lamented and bitterly avenged, it gets us on the defense.
Like I said, I'm certainly coming around to the idea of just leaving it - why bother, especially if there is no necessity and benefits such as STD prevention, etc. can be conveyed other ways? But I would hope you can understand I feel no need to make the exhaustive argument to my husband that his penis is mutilated. Circumcision happened to many men, they're fine, what's done is done... but that being said, I'm all for letting a harmful tradition die out.
That's why I got so defensive, and that's why it was hard.
Thanks Paul for your input! I really appreciate a man's perspective. The last line you wrote is very powerful. I think you are a great example of what it means to parent consciously!
ReplyDeleteAshley, blog stalk all you want! That particular thread is what prompted this post, but doing things with conscious intent is something I think about frequently. I really do understand where you are coming from. I very much respect your consideration for your husband, and other men who have been circumcised as an infant (like my son's father) for that matter. Honestly, I don't think the issue of a man's sex life even really needs to be addressed unless as a last resort. Your being defensive was understandable! Thank you for sharing this because I think it is important to keep in mind that those men who are circumcised should not have to feel deficient in order to get the practice to stop.
It isn't necessary and there are scary risks, so such a decision should be made only about one's own body. For me, this is reason enough to let such a tradition die out.
Check out this site. It reminds me of what you are talking about, but with a different topic.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.naturalnews.com/026305.html
What do you think?
I personally do not generally go along with what everyone else is doing just because they are doing it. I am not necessarily a non-conformist (because I will conform if I think something is right)... I just question things and if I see no point or discover them to be wrong then I will not follow it.
ReplyDeleteThe thing I see alot of people "conforming to" today is acceptance of abortion. I find the idea that it is okay to commit murder just because the person is unable to speak up as to whether they want to live or not and because it is more convenient for the mother DEPLORABLE! I will quickly jump off this soapbox... I don't even really know why this came to mind upon reading this topic.
NEway, to speak to the circumcision thing again (mainly out of what I read in the comments), I do not believe that circumsized men are deprived of much (if any) pleasure... in fact, studies do show that men who get circumsized later on in life experience more pleasure (though that is probably from the new hightened sensitivity, which one would not have after years of being circumsized).
And again, there are medical reasons for circumsision, so it is inaccuarte to say the reasons are purely cosmetic and just Americans conforming to what we have done for years.